Raising Greyson

The time I didn’t talk about…

2012-02-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Greyson,

I’ve wondered a lot over the past few months if I would ever blog or write to you about what I’m about to, while we were going through it, I couldn’t bear to write about it, thinking in my head that putting it on paper (the Internet) would make it more true. Your daddy and I were sick with worry, gripped with fear, frustrated and scared. It’s only now, now that you are back to being fine (which you always were) back to just the normal kid sick (colds and flus and coughs) and not the seriously sick kid sick, that mommy can breathe again and think and possibly blog about the end of 2011 scare that about sent mommy over the sanity edge.

It all started with what I thought was you being impatient, whenever mommy was trying to talk to your teacher, or check out at the store, or get in the car to go somewhere, you suddenly had to pee. It got worse, and then alarmingly worse and off to the Dr we went because we figured bladder infection – easy enough. Except the meds didn’t work and suddenly you were peeing 8-10 times an hour all day long, up a million times at night and crying because you always felt like you had to go. We switched antibiotics, this will do the trick we were told. It didn’t and you got worse, and then there was the day I saw a look on our doctors face that still haunts me. As she felt your lower stomach she said she could “feel something” it was painful to you, you had blood in your urine, we were being sent to have your blood drawn and for U/S and scans and all kinds of tests… I know that I kept living because I’m still here, but I don’t know how, I felt my heart stop, my breathe get stuck in my throat, my brain did nothing but scream…

We went to have vials and vials of blood drawn and you screamed. You sat on my lap and I pinned you next to me with one arm, keeping your other arm held out straight and you screamed, it was awful. You told your daddy later that they took 7 MILES (rather than vials) of your blood and it was the first time I had laughed that day. We were referred to Nemours, one of the best pediatric children’s hospitals in our area. After your pediatrician couldn’t find any of what he said “were the easy things to fix”… My heart continued to sink. Mommy fought and cried and begged for a quick appointment with Nemours, the first available they had was a month away and there was no way I was waiting a month… So with a little Momma Bear ferocity I had your tests and appointment scheduled within 2 days.

When we went for the US of your kidney’s I instantly knew, I knew it in my bones that something was wrong. The tech took so much time on your right kidney compared to your left… The next day was your appointment with nephrology and I picked up your U/S report to take it with us. I of course ripped it open and there it was… Your right kidney, pelvictasis. Your right kidney was way bigger than your left, an Internet search found me with more questions and even more worry!! Leading cause of pevictasis is a mass that presses on your kidney causing it to swell, which in turn causes the frequent urination. The only word that stood out to me was mass…

Your daddy was on a plane for business, I left him a message in full on tears telling him what the U/S showed, I was devastated, I couldn’t breathe… I held you so tight, you had been sleeping with us for nights, I didn’t want to be anywhere but next to you. In the car we headed to Orlando, we had to stop so many times to let you use the potty… I felt like I was swimming, everything seemed so surreal to me, I was prepared for the worst news of my life, but had no idea how to handle it…

The doctors and nurses at Nemours were amazing, the appointment took hours, especially when you had to go to the potty every 5-10 minutes. We went over your results; we took x-rays, another scan, more urinalysis tests…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we got in the car and I picked up the phone to call your daddy I was literally giddy, giggling and laughing and shaking my head… you my dear, were quite literally full of POO!! Even though you go every day, even though we’ve struggled with this for a few years, you still were holding it during the day, only comfortable to go at home, and though you were going at home, you still had a back-up… That back-up was pressing into your kidneys… The nephrologists said it was a huge credit to the fact that you do eat so many fruits and veggies that you were still going everyday and that’s why this “issue” has developed so slowly. We were sent home with some “serious” clean out your kid stuff… The next 2 days were not fun in the slightest… you basically lived on the potty, mommy got a horrible sinus infection and cold and well we were both miserable, yet so incredibly HAPPY!! I went from my hugest fears of losing you to just adding a little Miralax to your daily Gatorade… We cut out all caffeine and soda’s (which you didn’t drink a ton of, but some) and added even more fiber to your diet and just like that you are now back to completely normal (well, as normal as any child of mine can be…)

Oh Greyson Lee… I can’t tell you how I worried, mommy tires to take the positive out of things like this. For me it was that reminder that so many things can wait, extra snuggle time, extra book time, extra play time, extra just lay in bed with you at night and talk time are SO much more important. It reminded me to slow down, seriously slow down and remember to LOVE on you so much more.

I’m so so so very happy that you are the healthy little nutcase that you are. You my love are my everything and while I hated the worry and the stress, I’ll take it all over again 100 times more if it means getting to see your cute face each and every morning.

I love you forever and always,
Momma

An open letter to our immune systems…

2012-02-10T17:28:00.000-08:00

Dear immune systems,

Hi, it’s me Heather, better known as Greyson’s mom. Listen, I get it, we put you through a lot, what with our Disney trips, going to school daily, trips to the store, living in the pine pollen craziness that is Florida right now, etc… but seriously, you need to come back and back with a vengeance, boosted and strong, mighty and powerful, because I’m over, read it again, OVER being sick, and I’m over, read it again, OVER Greyson being sick. We have yet to make a full week of school this YEAR! Greyson has been sent home early twice this month!! It’s only the 10th and this month is a leap year month, we have 19 days left… Please, I’m begging you – please we can’t take the sickness, the colds, the coughs, the sinuses, the stomach viruses, the pink eye, the strep, the flu the congestion, the gunk anymore. We need a reprieve!!

Love and Extra Vitamin C,
Me

Yes he is...

2012-02-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

We ate dinner a few weeks ago at Outback Steakhouse... Something we have not done in FOREVER!! (Mama likes to fit in her jeans! ha!) But... we had a gift card so figured we might as well make the most of it. Greg and I (back in our Louisville, dating days...) used to eat at Outback, ALL. THE. TIME! Like seriously, way way way to often, and we always got the same thing... Loaded Cheese Fries (because hello?) Steaks, salads, and you guessed it Chocolate Thunder Down-under (dude... it's so so good... yum to the yum to the my thighs, oh my thighs!!)

Anyway... as we ate our standard 16,000 calorie meal we got to reminiscing a bit about the dating days and our love of Outback and movies and the things we used to do, like leave the house to go out at 8:00p.m., like it was normal!! Now if it's quarter after 5:00 we're all "oooh.. that's going to really push bed time back, we can go tomorrow!" how times change...

Anyway (again) as we talked Greg said, "Who would have thought that some day we'd have a little munchkin." a few seconds went by as the 3 of us scooped more chocolaty ice cream hot fudge goodness into our mouths when Greyson suddenly declared, "Hey! I'm that munchkin!!"

and yes he is, that munchkin indeed...

Super Hero Sunday!

2012-01-29T16:01:00.000-08:00

Funny brunch!

2012-01-26T17:27:00.000-08:00

Out to brunch recently Greyson ordered steak medallions and broccoli which he loved! (he is his daddy's son!!). Later that day he was on the phone and I over heard him saying, "and I had steak Battalions!"

It's the little things like this, the moments that just make me giggle, the steak battalions of our days that I want to make sure to record more of!! Because let's face it, steak battalions is just funny, and that moment, of giggling in the car and looking at Greg and all the words un-spoken but said so loudly between us as we smiled and laughed and both thought just how fortunate we are... Those are the moments I want to record, to remember, to have for Greyson for always...

Steak battalions for everyone!! :)

Monday Funny-day...

2012-01-23T10:59:00.000-08:00

"Mommy, how old are you?"

"I'm 31"

"Whoa!! ... So when you were little did you have to run away from the meat eating dinosaurs?"

OUCH!!

Just one more!!

2012-01-15T16:36:00.001-08:00

Ok, ok, ok... So I know my blog is supposed to be all about Greyson... but I just had to share one more (and let's be honest, you all know I'll probably share a dozen more before it's over...) of this little peanut!! She was just so good to the photographer in me!!! Ooooooh!! Ok... now back to regular scheduled programing...

Tomorrow - we talk about basketball!! The kiddo is playing again, and baby boy has got some serious game!!

but first... Hello Gorgeous!!

Today I got to...

2012-01-14T18:29:00.000-08:00

Spend 4 glorious hours, cuddling, bouncing, posing and photographing this little bundle of uber cuteness!! You guys! I got so many ridiculously cute shots!! I am having an absolute blast-a-roni in post processing... Seriously, squeal like a little girl blast!!!

See what I mean?!? How can you not squeal at this!?!?

Babies Babies Everywhere, but not a one for me…

2012-01-12T16:41:00.000-08:00

Blah...

Self pity, poor me, ugh…

I’m surrounded by new babies, one of my very dearest and closest friends is pregnant. I am SO happy for all of them, I truly am, and I would be devastated if they tried to protect me by keeping me out of everything they are going through, I want to be there for them, I want to be happy and part of it all, but some days… some days it just hurts.

Today I stood there holding a brand new 2 week old baby (a beautiful baby girl that I get to photograph this weekend – SO excited) while looking across the room at one of best friends and her adorable teeny tiny belly… I was equal parts over the moon thrilled for them, and bottom of the barrel, steam rolled, heart ripped out, sad for me…

I hear so often that I still have time, there are days that I think, maybe I could try again… then the memories of that day come back… the gripping fear… and beyond that the cold hard facts: Greyson is 6 years old, Greg is 44… I don’t still have time, we’re done.

Enter self pity, poor me, and more ugh…

I guess it’s good to know that I can live vicariously through all of the pregnancy’s and new babies around me, that I can readily get my hands on a brand new baby to soak up the goodness, put my hands on a growing belly (whether she likes it or not! Ha!) and while I’m sure that for the rest of my life, those moments and seeing what I so deeply had once longed for, will find me feeling a bit blue, it will also force me to take a moment to remember just how much I do have. I have a son who is magnificent. I have a son who is the light of my life, who is healthy and happy, who is a joy to be around, not only for me, but for all those that meet him. I am the mother of truly one of kindest, sweetest, funniest individuals I have ever met (and I’m not just saying this because I am a little biased – it’s TRUE!!) I also have the pleasure of being surrounded by some of the most amazing women, women who know my story, who know my struggles, but are not afraid to open up to me about their pregnancy’s, their new babies… I would be lost without these women in my life… I’m so fortunate to have them, watching them grow as mother’s having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies… it truly is a joy to me, despite the moments of hurt, the joy outweighs the hurt… The love outweighs the sadness…

and this face... this face that makes even the saddest heart smile...

Race Weekend!!

2012-01-12T15:18:00.000-08:00

Race weekend – in one word… AWESOME-SAUCE!! (totally one word!)

It was a blur of very little sleep, and by very little I’m talking maybe 45 minutes in a 49 HOUR time span!! But man was it worth it!! Getting to meet and run with Bart Yasso – priceless!! Being surrounded by 6,000 (+) other crazy runners – I can’t even describe the energy!! Going through the Everglades in the middle of the night with nothing but a head lamp and full moon – incredible!! Best race weekend ever, can’t wait to do it again. The best part of it all though – coming home to the arms and kisses of my boys, especially my Greyson… Oh, how I missed him… Even though I really did have an incredible time, and fun beyond fun, there was a part of me missing, that blue-eyed, cheesy grinned, silly, sweet, best hugs ever part… 5 days away was too long for this momma!! The boys on the other hand, missed me, but obviously had a grand old time and managed just fine without me!!

Oh yeah... that's me just taking a picture with BART Y.A.S.S.O.!!!!

Hello Key West... The best finish line, EVER!!

Bye Bye Key West!!!

2012-01-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

Headed home from an amazing time at an amazing race, but seriously I CAN NOT WAIT to get home to my boys!!! I have missed them so much!!

Doll Baby...

2012-01-03T13:35:00.000-08:00

Like... Literally!! Look at his sweet little porcelain doll face!! Oh how I love this boy!!

Daddy time...

2012-01-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I leave my boys for 5 days.

...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so nervous!! My nerves have nothing to do with the fact I'm going to Miami to a race that is 200 miles to Key West, no my nerves have everything to do with the fact that I'll be with out my boys for 5 days!!! 5 entire nights and days away from my boys!!!!!!!

I can't even. even... even begin to let my mind wrap around the fact. UGH!!!

I know I'll have a blast, I know I have to go, it will be good for me, for them, for all of us but seriously what was I thinking!!

It's not that I don't have full confidence in the fact that Greg will be totally fine taking care of everything, he reminded me last night that he is indeed a rather responsible parent, but, but, but... he doesn't know how Greyson likes his sandwiches made, the right peanut butter to jelly ratio, and how to cut just enough crust off in order to leave enough sandwich and what about notes on his napkins, and the proper way to load his lunchbox, I mean it took me a few weeks to perfect it, and the way he likes his strawberries cut and OH MY GOODNESS, how will they cope with out me!!!!???

and then I realize they'll be fine, I've left detailed notes (and napkins with notes) and Greyson won't starve, and Greg won't starve and they'll manage just fine... but, how will I manage not manging?!?

I'm sure this post makes no logical or even grammatical sense (not that any of that is new...) it's most just my panic ramblings of how do I leave for 5 whole days!!

I'm headed to Miami - and then on to Key West but my heart... my heart is staying in Palm Coast...

I'll be racing my fastest back to these two...

New...

2012-01-01T15:38:00.001-08:00

A new year and new goal.

wait for it.....

To be a better blogger! Ha!

I know I know, same old tune... This year I was sad though as I looked through the limited (for me) pictures I took, the lack of blogging, the knowing that so much is lost... sigh... So I'm going to try to get back into the blog mode, to record his moments, his funny, his joy, his struggles, his fears, his achievements and accomplishments - to keep a record of him, so that next year and the years after I can look back, he can look back...

On the first day of 2012, we went to Disney (shock and awe... )

and a grand time was had by all...

Good Bye - 2011

2011-12-31T10:43:00.000-08:00

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Sigh...

2011-12-30T10:26:00.000-08:00

He said to me, "and this how I do handsome Momma..."

Yes indeed my love, yes indeed...

Kindergarten School Pics...

2011-12-29T12:59:00.000-08:00

I received the digital copies of Greyson's school pictures today. If you bought the entire package you got the digital images, so I of course decided that yes indeed I need 12 billion pictures (of 3 poses) of Greyson, all with "I just came from the playground hair"... I mean - who wouldn't??

He slays me this child of mine, his cuteness is just beyond!!

The hair!! Oh the hair...
and that smile... oh... it's too too much!!

How he makes me giggle in these pictures, they are so so so very Greyson Lee... The wacky sweaty messy hair, the smile that is so HUGE and eager, the glasses, the poses all of it is just SO my boy.

So guess what is NOT fun?!

2011-12-27T18:14:00.000-08:00

Waking up with PINK EYE, while on vacation...

Blah!!

Love and Logic…

2011-12-27T09:30:00.000-08:00

We were introduced to the “Love and Logic” concept at Greyson’s school last year, after some reading up on the “concept” we realized that it was relatively close to the way we raise/discipline/teach Greyson or attempt to on average already, and loved the ideas, the thoughts and the ways we could do a better job of incorporating the basic principles into our/his life.

I should probably say first, that why it would be a blast to take all the credit for what a well behaved child Greyson is, I can’t, we just got really really lucky. He’s simply just a good kid and why I realize that we foster his “good” behaviors and give him the best possible environment to let those behaviors shine, the bottom line is, we just have a very chill kid, he’s a rule follower by nature, he aims to please by nature, he’s shy and sweet and often a bit reserved by nature. It makes being parents, disciplinarians, teachers, example setters, and even often friends or our child in a word – easy. Not to say he’s perfect, because trust me, he has his moments, but for the most part, he’s pretty perfect!

The other day I had this great Love and Logic moment with him that I’d wanted to blog about, and since my blog is all depressing and blah right now, I needed something to post so… TaDa!!

Greyson showers with Greg or I on a pretty regular basis, (I realize that this probably could lead to whole additional post about modesty and when is too old to be around your parents naked… and at this point we’re not there, the kid loves to be naked, we’re not a prudish family in any way I guess… I mean come on, I nursed the kid until he was over TWO, what did you expect??) Anyway, on to Love and Logic….

I was getting ready to get in the shower and Greyson said he wanted to take one too, but he was also playing on his I-Pod touch and I knew I didn’t have his full attention.

“Bud, I’m getting in the shower.”

“Ok, I want to come”

“Alrighty, see you in there…”

I took my shower and no Greyson. Now I could have yelled and screamed from the bathroom, but he’s 6 and this was a good opportunity to let him make his choices and deal with the consequences. We had nowhere to go, there was no need for him to take a quick shower, the situation was perfect for a little Love and Logic.

I’m out of the shower getting dressed and in he pops. Instant tears!

“I wanted to take a shower with you!!!”

“I know you did.”

“Why didn’t you come get me?!?!” he cried and cried and kept repeating this…
(Now I could have said – Go to your room until your done crying, I could have said I told you and you didn’t come it’s your own fault, I could have ignored him, yelled at him, told him to stop, forced him to take a shower on his own, I could have given in and taken another shower just to make it easier… lot’s of wrong options that wouldn’t teach him a thing…)

“I’m sorry that your sad and disappointed” (I showed him a little empathy.)

“I really wanted to take a shower with you!”

“I know that you did, what happened?”

“You didn’t tell me!!”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, you did but I got busy playing my game!!” and more tears started.

“Well buddy, I’m sorry that you made a choice that now has you upset and still in need of a shower, I’m going to finish getting ready, and you let me know when you have a solution.”

“What are my options?” (I love that he’s now asking for his options!! Ha!)

“Well, what do YOU think would be good options?”

“I don’t know! You tell me!”

“You’re a super smart boy Greyson, I know you can do this, you think about it for a bit and if you need some help later, I will help you, but I just bet you can come up with GREAT options, all on your own!”

“I want to take another shower with you!”

“I’ve already taken my shower and I’m getting dressed now.”

Sniffles… thinking… sniffles…

“Well, I guess I could take a shower on my own… OR maybe I could take a bath and you could sit and talk to me?”

“Those both sound like great options!”

“Will you sit and talk with me while I take a bath momma?”

“I’ll tell you what bud, you go get your bath started, and I’ll finish up in here and be there when I can.”

And off he happily skipped, feeling in control, feeling like he solved his own dilemma, because he did!! He had the power to make the choices, both good and bad and he learned. He learned about consequences, about problem solving. My hopes are that these small lessons now (lessons that can be taught in controlled circumstances) will lead to him having the confidence and the experience to make good choices, and to be a good problem solver as he gets older and the consequences are much more severe.

Was it the most enjoyable thing to stand there with dripping wet hair on cold tile to talk to my son? Nope. Did I enjoy listening to all the tears? Nope. Did I want to just make him stop, make that moment stop by either yelling or ignoring or giving in – ABSOLUTELY. Was the lesson WAY more important that any of that… ABSOLUTELY!!

Love and Logic… heavy on the love please… :0)

How?

2011-12-23T16:58:00.001-08:00

I always think, I just have to get through that date, just get past December 22nd…

But here I am today, December 23rd, and you know what? It’s still just as bad, but like every other day, other than December 22nd, I put on my Heather face and go about my day. Yesterday I spent a lot of the day in bed, I snuggled Greyson and wrestled Greyson and let myself laugh with him, I cried and cried and got mad. I took longs naps and an even longer shower. I let my outsides show my insides… I’m not sure that it helped, not sure that it hurt… All day I kept asking one thing, “How?” How did this happen, How am I still going, How do I keep going, How can I ever be ok… How How How?

This last year has been a struggle for me, more so even I feel than the first two. I have changed so drastically much since that day 3 years ago, and I feel that the majority of those changes happened this year. I find myself wondering how (there I go with the how’s again) I would be, feel, think, react if my son had been born alive. It’s hard for me, to wrap my head around the changes in my life, the path so different than once thought…

I feel emotionally wiped out right now. I’m so thankful for the time off from school, time to snuggle my boy all day, revel in the joy that he brings me each and every day, time to relax and recharge, time to just be.

I’m ready to find my place, to find my pace, my spot, my “me”.

To my sweet baby boy…

2011-12-21T17:18:00.000-08:00

3 years ago.

3 years ago I went to bed having no idea what lay before me. Some days it seems as if it was a life time ago but most days it still feels as raw and as painful as if it were yesterday. I keep thinking that time will heal my heart, time will make it easier, time will get me back to normal – but the truth is sweet love, time can’t heal this. I miss you every single day, I think of you every single day, I feel the huge hole in my life every single day. I wish that 3 years ago tonight I would have known then what I know now. I wish that I would have known what was coming, that I would have been better prepared. There are so many things about that night that haunt mommy still. I didn’t hold you, I was so afraid that you would fall apart, I didn’t kiss your tiny little head or put your teeny tiny fingers in mine. How could I have not held you, I ask myself this question almost daily, I’m so sorry sweet boy, Momma was just so scared… I hate that I didn’t touch you and hold you and kiss your sweet head, I didn’t wrap you up in anything, I didn’t do anything, you were just so impossibly tiny, perfect in every way but so so tiny and I was panicked… It’s no excuse, I should have known better, I should have been better, you deserved better. I want you back, I want you here, I want to wake up from the fog of the last 3 years and find you still growing in my tummy…

But I know I can’t have any of that. I know I have to keep going, for you and for your big brother. So tonight I’ll be sad, and I’ll cry – a lot. But I promise you this sweet boy, I will keep loving you every single day, I will keep striving to be the best mother I can to your big brother, we will keep your sweet memory alive by talking about you and remembering you. Greyson tells everyone we meet about you, it’s really rather sweet. He would have been an amazing big brother, I wish I could have seen the two of you together… So many wishes…

I love you.
Momma

...

2011-12-14T18:46:00.000-08:00

I looked at your pictures tonight…
It was a lot harder than I thought it would be.
2 years, 51 weeks.
One week away from 3 years.
3 years that you’ve been gone…
My heart hurts, it hurts so very bad.
I still love you, I always will.
I still miss you, I always will...

So you think you can dance??

2011-12-06T18:37:00.000-08:00

Because this kid has some moooooves, and some days, you just really need a pajama dance party!!

His FAVORITE park!!

2011-11-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

Greyson loves the park, any park really as long as there are swings and slides... However, there is one place that he really really really LOVES! He calls it the "rainbow park" the real name is Magic Forest, and I must admit, it is a pretty awesome park...

Last week Greyson had his 6 year old "well baby (ha!)" appointment, which just happens to be around the corner from this park, so afterwards we went on over.

I don't know if it's just the age he is now or what the deal is, but let me tell you, this kid and I have an absolute blast together lately. We ran around this park like two loony tunes, got on the swings and went as high as we could, giggling and squealing and having our bellies caught. We laughed and raced and crawled and laid in the grass and talked about our day, we... we just simply had the best time ever. We left the park hand in hand our cheeks sore from the laughs and smiles...

This boy of mine... He's so much more than my little man, my side kick, my best buddy... He's my light, my joy, my everything good... He is my proof that no matter what life throws at me, or what life has thrown at me in the past, it's all going to be ok, in fact it's going to be good, great even. Because you see, at the end of the day, I get to kiss his sweet face goodnight...

Welcome to the Rainbow park!!

Cool park right??
why, yes indeed... very cool!

Hello from Pirate Land!! Ahoy Matey!!

Dragon!!

and we laughed until it hurt... and then we laughed some more...

Marine Land - 2011

2011-11-10T15:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Greyson,

A few weeks ago, you and I took off for one of our "famous" Greyson-Mommy dates... Dude, we had so much FUN!! You my little man are just simply fun to be with, you're fun to take places and hang out with. I love to get your perspective on the things we see, your thoughts and feelings about what we experience... I don't know how I got so lucky to have not only the best boy in the world, but to have one of my very best friends wrapped up in the same package! I love you so much, thank you for bringing the fun!!

Whitney Park at Marine Land!!

This time our visit to Marine Land was a little extra special. You are finally old enough to participate in the "Touch and Feed Dolphin Experience"!! and so we did it, and I'm not sure which one of us liked it better, Mommy caught herself squealing and smiling and giggling just as much (if not more!) than you!

Shaking "fins" with Alvin (which is a total rock star name for a dolphin I do believe!!)

More fun with Alvin...

Alvin was totally down for a good belly rub...

After our time with Alvin we spent time checking out the tanks, taking a "behind the scenes" tour and watching some awesome "shows". You asked all of your questions, charmed all the girls and talked mommy into a stuffed dolphin before we left. Often during this day I caught myself hanging back a bit, just watching you, following your lead, listening to your insightful questions or comments... You continue to amaze me each and every day little man. Some days I look at you and am completely stunned, you're so grown up and so, just so very much a kid, and then I look you again and there you are, my sweet, shy, innocent bundle of baby love. I'm so proud of who you are and who you are becoming. I love you always and forever...

Checking out the new 6 week old baby dolphin...

Baby dolphin swims with it's Momma...

Just chillin'...

Proof that momma is sucker and can't say No...

You named your new dolphin... "Alvin" of course!!

My most handsome boy...

Well hello there...

Cute-ness?? Yes indeed.

Later Alliga... err?? Dolphin(ator?)....

Updates and such...

2011-11-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

I feel like time is flying by so fast! How is it already November? Where did our summer go? Before I know it, it will be summer again!! Too busy we are, way too busy! But doing what? That’s just it, we’re too busy just living the day to day!!

So here’s an update!!

Greyson is rocking school like it’s nobody’s business! His favorite subject is Math (shocker!! His momma always loved it and his Daddy’s and Engineer!) he’s coming home with algebra problems and dudes in Kindergarten!! Ca-razy!! He is reading like a champ and writing very well also. He LOVES to sing, I mean Loooooooves!! It’s kind of the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen… Ever!

He is definitely a computer/video game kid. He’s mad about his Wii and begs to play every chance he gets. He runs and wrestles with our dogs and loves them to no end. He’s still crazy about basketball and is back to picking up the golf clubs, much to his daddy’s joy!

He’s tall, so very tall. He’s handsome and sweet and smart and kind. He makes me smile and laugh and fills our home with so much joy. He pretty much rocks our world.

I am busy with the normal mom stuff, running back and forth from school and to all the extra’s. Still running and biking and working out a lot. My November goal is a (minimum) of a 5k a day!! I competed in a few triathlons this summer and loved them, looking forward to spring and tri season again… Until then it’s all running races though!! Lots of little races and maybe a few half marathons leading up to a full (26.2)!! I’m also doing a few century bike rides (that’s 100 mile rides).

Well, off to play a little Wii with the Weeble before bed time…

Xoxo,
Heather

and then there is the one where he's just so...

2011-10-23T06:20:00.000-07:00

ADORABLE!!!

Oh how I love this boy...

The one where he looks just like his daddy...

2011-10-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

Like exactly like his daddy...

On the eve of six…

2011-10-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Greyson,

Six.

I know I tell you this often, but I really can’t believe that you are six.

SIX!!

You’re very excited about being six, I think that it must sound old to you as well. You’re the first in your class to turn six, a whole year older than the rest, it is so cool. Things like that are starting to matter to you now, you care more about what you are wearing, more aware of your hair style, what things you have, things you do… I knew it was bound to happen, your innocence slowly slipping… Mommy can’t help but be a bit sad about it, but on the other hand, I’m getting to see how you handle it, and I couldn’t be more proud of you. You have such a good sense of self, you don’t give into peer pressure, especially in behavior, you are kind and good to everyone, no matter if they are in your social circle or not. Even though your awareness has become more expanded to things that are “cool” or “not” your good heartedness, your kindness, your sweetness has remained strong and true. You are amazing.

Turning six you still love Disney, and computer games and your DS and your Wii… You’re smart as a whip, advancing to 1st grade math, because Kindergarten math was boring you senseless… You’re still growing out of your shy stage I think, although you’re bound to always be a little more reserved, I do believe. You’re funny and kind and sweet as sugar. You love the beach and swimming in the pool, you love cartoons and snuggle time in the morning. You eat watermelon like it’s the only food on the planet, you love Mexican and Cajun and salads and anything chocolate!! You make us laugh until our sides hurt, you sing at the top of your lungs and dance like a mad man. The joy you bring to our lives every day is so abounding, it’s limitless…

Mommy struggles with you not having a sibling. I worry that you’ll be lonely as an adult, that you’ll begin to feel that hole that shouldn’t be there. I still struggle so much baby, I know it’s been almost 3 years, but it still hurts so much that your brother is not here. It makes me anxious and a worrier and sometimes I know I have a harder time letting go of you than I should. Thank you for still loving me in spite of myself. You are truly my world little man, my everything, my always, my forever. The past year has been good to us, quiet and simple and busy with all the everyday things that make days turn into weeks, into months, into another year gone by. I say every year and every year in this letter that the past year has been my favorite stage of you, and again it’s true. I loved 5, you became more independent, you stayed the tender hearted boy you’ve always been, and you grew what seems like a foot! You branched out and learned and experienced and yet you stayed you. No momma could ever be prouder or more in love than I.

Tomorrow you will be six.

SIX!!

Six years worth of crazy love,
Momma

I love you for all that you are, and all you will grow to be...

A little trip to Disney...

2011-08-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

Before school started, Greyson and I made a quick trip to Disney for the day, followed by a trip with Daddy the week after... Disney with him just becomes more and more fun... He walks the park, holding my hand, we veer of course to see everything that catches his eye, take breaks in the shade when his legs get tired, we people watch and ride all the rides, we check out shops and see the shows... He indulges mommy by posing for pictures, I indulge him by paying crazy high prices for ice cream in the shape of Mickey Mouse... It works, for both of us...

Here are a few cute pictures of the two of us from the two trips... I have tons more to share of just him, daddy and him and even a family picture or two!! (Thanks foreign strangers who always offer to take our picture!!)

Seriously... How cute is his little grin?!? SO cute!

Cracking up at mommy trying to get us and the Epcot Ball!!

Stranger Danger!! Unless of course they are offering to take your pic...

Two thumbs up for Hollywood Studio's!!

We're settling in to our new routine of full day school... He's loving every second of it and we couldn't be more proud of him.

More Disney fun to come!! :) Yay!

Kindergarten...

2011-08-22T18:18:00.001-07:00

Oh! The places you will go!!

Today - Kindergarten.

Yep, my baby is in Kindergarten... KINDERGARTEN!!

and then his momma was a tri-athlete!!!

2011-07-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I competed in, finished and fell in love with the triathlon. I've been thinking of doing one for a while, but got serious a couple of months ago and started training hard. It was probably one of the best race experiences I have had to date! Way better than my disaster of a half-marathon this spring... Ugh!! I think the best part was having my boys at the finish line and Greyson even running in right behind me. The race was close to home, so the boys slept in and made it down in time to see me finish... Here are a few pics and a video of me crossing the line... The clock says, 1:17:15, but I started in the 2nd wave so I started 3 minutes into the clock, so my official time, was 1:14:15 - which blew my goal time of 1:20:00 out to the water!!

Headed to the finish line!! I was so happy to see Greyson!!
(I'm the runner coming in on the left, pink shirt...)

Stacey gives the best hugs after races!!

Rosie and I!! Rosie is my go to workout partner!!
Coach Carrie and I. This is the one who got me started!!

The TRI gang... (and Greyson...)

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

...

2011-06-20T18:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, He really IS this stinkin' cute... (sigh...)

both inside and out...

Swoon....

2011-06-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

This child is too much... Too much cuteness, too much sweetness, too much love and tender hearted-ness, too much laughter, too much care, too much good. And yet, this child is just right, perfection even. And oh, how I love him!!

Let's talk T-ball...

2011-06-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

This spring we played our 3rd season of T-ball... We've had wonderful experience with the PAL league and T-ball up to this point and were excited to start another season... Then opening day rolled around and we just knew we were in for it... It was a rough season, we started with a coach who simply put, was not equipped to coach and finally about half way through the season he ended up being fired... yep, fired from a volunteer position... Also, Greyson was playing basketball at the same time and so we were tired to say the least, the broken finger kept him out of a few weeks worth of games and then... he got hit super hard running to second base and ended up with a severely sprained wrist that kept him out of the last 2 games... We were pretty glad when the season was over... We needed a break!! The biggest bummer was that our team was not told when photo day was so our entire team not only missed team photo's but individual photo's as well, so I did our team photo, but we didn't get the professional individuals like we have for every other season... bummer.

Even through the rough season though, Greyson was a trooper and he does still love the sport and is definitely progressing!! His fielding skills have come super far and he was one of the only kids on our team who could hit a pitched ball rather than hitting off of the tee... So more than likely when fall ball rolls around we'll be playing again... Just no double sports again, it was TOO much!!

Here are a few pics from opening day and the team photo I took at the end of the season... Enjoy!!

#10, which he thought was awesome!!

hustling for the ball...
hitting the pitch!!! Way to go baby!!
and yes... his pants crack me up in this photo too!!

the smile that makes it all worth it!

PAL Spring League - Team Stingrays!!

Spring Sports... Basketball

2011-06-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

Greyson played basketball for the first time this spring, and he LOVED it!! He's practiced plenty with his daddy on our court so we knew he'd be good, he's got dribbling down and is a pretty good shot, he's also taller than most kids so he's all about blocking opposing shots and getting the rebounds!! It wasn't the best season we've had as far as sports, there were some parents on our team that really ruined the experience and then Greyson broke his finger which wasn't fun at all... but even with that, Greyson loved it and can't wait to play again...

baby's got mad dribbling skills...

Thumbs up!!!

and this happy face is why we do it...

Awe... He's too cute!!

Then there was the broken finger... Not cool... not cool at all! Although Greyson loved showing it off to his friends at school!!

In the end he got his trophy and really... that's all that matters!!

Look for a post soon on T-ball... It was our 3rd season and whew, it was an interesting season to say the least!!! Spring sports did not like us much this year, but we got through it!!

and just like that my baby graduated from pre-school...

2011-06-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday evening, Greyson had his first graduation... Pre-school graduation was pretty much the cutest thing ever!! He delivered his line of the Dr. Seuss book "Oh The Places You'll Go" perfectly, he sang songs and he received his diploma... He posed for pictures and opened a crazy amount of Graduation presents friends and family surprised us all with!! Overall I must say it was a great night!!

We're now into summer break and why Momma has been sick for all of it so far, Greyson seems to be enjoying staying home, sleeping in, and getting to play Wii FAR FAR FAR too much!!

It's hard to believe that he's grown so much this year, he really has developed into such a joyful little man...

Delivering his lines of the book.... "About some paths you may say, I do not choose to go there..." SO CUTE!!

The graduate with Mommy...

The graduate with Daddy...

AND!!!

a Family picture!! Yay!!

And THEN... there is the picture that makes me all teary eyed and weepy...

His very first day and His very last...

My oh my... How my baby boy has grown...

Bad Blogger...

2011-04-25T17:32:00.001-07:00

Me!! I've let this blog slide soooooo much... What can I say? We're busy!! :)

Life is good though and we're happy and mostly healthy, save the broken finger that Greyson is sporting!! First "major" and really not so major, sport injury. He did it last weekend during basketball, which by the way he is playing (well, was playing) along with T-ball (again, was, but will be again soon once the finger is healed) right now... See what I mean about busy?!?

Pictures? I have a ton to share but for now... Here is one from this weekend that just exemplifies the cuteness that is my kiddo!!

Hope to be back with more soon... but you probably shouldn't hold your breath!! :0)

Zoo...

2011-03-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

A few of Greyson's favorite animals from our zoo trip...

A few weeks ago, Greyson and I ventured out to the Jacksonville Zoo. It was kind of a magical day for the two of us. It's the first time I didn't take a stroller, we made a pact that he'd walk, after all he is 5 and over 60 lbs and over half my height... So instead of being pushed in front of me the entire day, fighting through the crowds on 4 wheels, in and out so he can get a better view, we walked. We walked hand in hand the entire day, we snuck into tiny places where we could sit as long as he liked to watch this animal or that... We talked, and talked and talked all day, what he liked, what he thought, how he thought it all went together. It was so much fun! But, it was fun in a different way than the normal fun we have when we're out and about, and it's hard for me to explain.... It's just that he is so much more grown up now, he has this great insight into things and he's able to share it with me, and it actually makes me stop and think and see things his way, and why I still felt 100% his mom, for the first time I really felt like his 'friend'... My boy is so amazing, he's thoughtful and smart and intuitive, he questions and desires to learn, he wants to know why and how, where and what. He's imaginative beyond compare and so so funny. I know that this will be a day I will cherish forever and ever, I'm not doing it justice in explanation here, it really was just the best day, a magical, delightful, full of love, wonder and joy kind of day...

Greyson got to feed the giraffes!!!

It was totally awesome!!

He would have spent hours at the Koi pond...
Getting that Gator in a head lock!!

a very good day...

a very good day indeed...

Heart...

2011-02-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

Greyson had his yearly heart check today and everything looks great! It's always a stressful appointment and today was no exception. His previous cardiologist, whom we loved, retired last year and so today it was time to meet the new doctor. We really liked him, he had a good sense of humor with Greyson and just an overall good manner to him, while being thorough and willing to answer all of Greg and my questions. Greyson was a trooper and did really well for all the testing, I think getting his BP taken was the worst for him, he's not a fan of getting his little arm squeezed. He refused to lie down for the EKG so they did that sitting up, but I was able to bribe him with 1 full hour of Wii time to stretch out for the Echocardiagram...

The tests all showed that his stenosis has stayed extremely mild. The plan for now is to just check him every 2 years, instead of every year and to expect well... nothing really!! All good news!!

During the EKG...

The wires give him super powers... The super power of extreme cuteness!!

Hurley

2011-02-07T17:45:00.000-08:00

He's still technically a Puppy... Apparently I only pick out puppies that turn into HUGE dogs...

He's beautiful and sweet and funny and all things a four-legged best friend should be...

Our life in pictures...

2011-02-05T16:29:00.000-08:00

Whew, once again it's been awhile since I've been here!! Sorry...

So here are few things Greyson did in the month of January...

On the weekends, he likes to ready the paper...

The best part of his paper reading, is when he gets to the ad's... "Hey mom, you can get shoes at Target for $15.00, and I think you'll like them!!" or "Look at this, Wii games are on sale for $29.99!!" Yeah, he's all about the ad's...

Fun with toothpaste!!

After bath he was brushing his teeth and all the sudden he was roaring with laughter, I went in to find his face like this....

Apparently toothpaste on your nose, is hilarious to a 5 year old!! :)

He's HUGE!! Look at those feet!!

He has continued to grow like a weed, those shoes - 2.5's!!! Those jean's size 7's and they are getting SHORT!! He's a giant, everyone guesses him to be 7, but nope, he's just 5, my wee little babe!!

He's still adorable, and sweet and amazing!!

Something is missing....

2011-01-05T18:51:00.001-08:00

and soon the gap will be wider as the next on to the right is barely hanging on!!

Since we hadn't been since LAST year...

2011-01-04T10:53:00.001-08:00

Greyson didn't have to go back to school until today (Tuesday) so yesterday we thought we'd head to Disney for the first time this year... It was PACKED!! Thought for sure it would be a great day but we were seriously wrong... Thank goodness for season passes... we left after a couple of hours, guess we'll try again in a week or so... :)

(yep... we're keeping it wheel!!!)

2010 - The yearly wrap up... Video Style!!

2010-12-30T19:49:00.001-08:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

2 years...

2010-12-22T15:04:00.001-08:00

It's hard to believe that it's been 2 years. 2 years. At times it still hurts like it was yesterday, and others it's just a numb dull ache. Today I'm sad, sad for the babe we lost, sad for Greyson for the brother he doesn't have, sad for Greg, sad for me. It's been long enough now that I know I will survive, that I can be ok. It's still too soon to know exactly how and when the "ok" will actually get here.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you baby boy. Not a day goes by that I still wish things could be different. Not a day goes by that I don't tell you I love you and that I'm sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This little face is what keeps me going, this little face never fails to bring a smile, to bring a laugh. I'd be lost with out him...

and this moment that sent us both over the edge in hysterics!! I needed that laugh!!

Holy STATIC Batman!!!

Glasses!!

2010-12-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

Finally a picture of the little man in his glasses...

Sorry it took me so long!!

Sick... but still bringing the funny!!

2010-11-09T15:21:00.000-08:00

He's got pneumonia... Poor poor baby!! He's handling it well, even if the nebulizer treatments make him a bit "wired"... At least 3 days off from school, lots of rest, lots of snuggle buggle time... Movies and Popsicles, finger foods and liquids, soup and crackers and sleepy sleep...

I hate that he's sick, but to be honest, a few days at home snuggling, building tent forts under the dining room table, extra stories and coloring book time, is more than just what will heal him, it's exactly what mommy needed too... I've been missing my boy...

He said to me last night... "So, tomorrow when I'm better will my pneumonia be like OLD-monia?" I laughed so hard I cried!! I love this child...

Nebulizer Time!!

Fall Break (Part Two) Daddy goes to Magic Kingdom...

2010-10-23T16:48:00.003-07:00

Wow... that's a long title... So I'll just do the post in pictures!! :)

Here's the little man on the carousal... He loves it so much...

This one just makes me giggle... Greyson's famous pout!! :) I was so happy to get this shot!! He LOVES driving the race cars, he will laugh and giggle and squeal with joy the entire time... So so so cute!!

I guess he needed a hug... ? We had a great time, but I'll tell you what Disney can sure wear us out... Glad we have this weekend to rest up before it's back to school on Monday!!

Fall Break (Part One!)

2010-10-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

The little man had fall break this week (Wed-Fri) so we took advantage of perfect Florida weather, and light crowds at Disney and had a blast!! Wednesday, Greyson and I went to Hollywood Studio's (which is all of this posts pictures, therefore, part one!), on Thursday we went fall/winter clothes shopping, and hurray he now has pants and long sleeve shirts and even a jacket! Woo Hoo! Then today, Friday, Daddy took the day off and went to Magic Kingdom with us! Yay!! (those pictures will be part Two - ah... so clever, I know... )

Welcome to Hollywood Studio's!!

Greyson LOVES the Space Ranger Spin ride...
This one just makes me smile...

I laugh when I look at this picture because he said to me... "Mom, I need to hydrate!" He's so funny these days... :)

Greyson and Mommy...

Woody was like, REALLY tall!!

BUZZ!!!

We finally got over to see the Beauty and the Beast show... We loved it!

I love him...

more than words can say...

I have a few fun pictures for part 2 - "Daddy goes to Magic Kingdom with us" and a few funny stories to share of just hilarious things the little man has said lately... So check back soon!! :)

Greyson and Mommy Date...

2010-10-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

The other day Greyson and I decided that we needed a "date" so off we went to the Marine Science Center!! It's cute and quaint, no crowds and tons of volunteer workers who love to take the time to tell you everything there is to know about what they have on display. The newest attraction is the Sting Ray touch pool... Greyson was a little skeptical at first... but after a bit and as long as my hand was with his he happily "pet" the sting rays... They were remarkably soft!!

He was still a little un-sure at this point!

They have a great resource and education room filled with all kinds of craft projects for the kids. Greyson decided that he wanted to make this paper bag owl... and it turned out pretty cute!!

He spent a lot of time watching the turtles... There is a rescue center here and we were able to see some really big sea turtles that are re-habbing in hopes of going back out to the ocean. Greyson got a kick out of the one that had to wear a life jacket! The poor thing was hit by a boat and one of it's lungs is at less than 50% capacity, so with out the life jacket it can't stay level... (interesting and sad....)

Overall, it was a great time, we hiked the nature trail, spent time with the sea birds, the bald eagles and owls too... Climbed the observation deck, and went back to the sting rays numerous times... I'm sure we'll head back again soon!!

and then we needed glasses...

2010-10-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

We found out last week that you're going to need glasses... You seem thrilled with idea and happily picked out the most trendy pair available... You actually look adorable in them, but I worry, worry that you'll loose them, break them, refuse to wear them... The biggest predicament is that your left eye is perfect 20/20! So it's been making up for your right eye (20/50! yikes!) all this time, so with both eyes you see fine, but the Dr. thinks that if we can keep you in glasses, now while your young and your eyes are still developing, that quite possibly we can get your right eye to maybe 20/25 and by the time your 7 or 8 you won't need them at all... We also talked about doing some "patching therapy" which, as sure as I am that you would love to be a pirate for a year, I'm not so fond of the idea... So we'll pick up your glasses this week and see how it goes... Knowing you, you'll take it all in stride and it will work out just fine... :)

The game...

2010-10-13T16:29:00.000-07:00

You're taking the game much more serious this year, but yet you still have fun. When we pull into the field you tell me, "Momma, I'm a little nervous" I tell you not to worry, to just have fun, listen to your coach and do your best... "and that's it? and we'll get a snack?" you ask, and I assure you that yes, that's all you have to do and snacks will be waiting at the end of the game.

I hold your hand as we walk to the field, your friends all saying hello as we go. I let go and tell you to go check in with your coach, I'm headed to the stands... off you run, with your hat and your glove... You look so small, but yet you tower over the other kids on your team.

Your coach spots you walking up, and greets you with "How's my big hitter tonight?!" and I see you grin, you can't wait to hit the ball, it's definitely your favorite part... you step up to the plate, taking your time to get your weight balanced, you test your distance and then you swing!! Your determination to get to first base is great and you run with all your might as the crowd all cheers!! I watch you then as you take your running of the bases quite serious, and as soon as the ball is hit you run to the next until your heading home! You quite possibly are the cutest T-ball player on the planet :)

This year you've taken to playing in the field a little more, still not potty breaks from boredom this year!! Your coach commends you after every game, for staying in your spot, for staying present in the game and for getting the ball only when it comes in your area, and not being part of the pile-ups that tend to happen. He commends you on listening, and that my son makes me more proud of you than any big hit, or fast out at first... Even though, I must admit, your out at first was pretty awesome!!

I'm looking forward to watching you grow the rest of this season... You are and will always be Mommy's M.V.P. I love you buddy!

Fall Ball...

2010-10-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

Fall T-ball is in full swing!! This fall we are the Rodchester RedWings!! Greyson seems to be a little more into it this fall than he was in the spring... So far no potty breaks from boredom... :)

He's one of the best hitters on the team, and does a pretty good job playing in the field (as long as he's part of the action...). We've been having perfect Florida Fall weather, so the games have been really nice, there is just something fun about being out at the ball park, cheering for your team, and laughing as the kids tackle one another to get the ball...

He was so happy to be #5, because well... He IS 5!!

Love... I mean LOVE this picture!!
His little eyes are closed... SO cute!

Adorable, even rounding 3rd base and heading home!

Hanging with the team...

Many more pictures to post and stories of T-ball to come!! But for now, we're off to tonight's game!! GO REDWINGS!!! Yay!

Greyson-ism...

2010-10-07T10:43:00.000-07:00

He recently started playing Star Wars on his DSi... he calls R2D2 - RD22... it makes me giggle, mostly because he says 22 like tutu, and RD was Ryan's (my big brother) nickname for awhile, so when he runs around the house shouting RD22, RD22!! All I can picture is my brother... in a tutu... hee hee hee....

Summer 2010 - Part 2

2010-10-04T18:24:00.001-07:00

Part 1 didn't really make any sense with out a part 2... So here it is, in pictures!! Enjoy!!

During the Summer of 2010...

We drove race cars at Disney...

We totally rocked our Mickey and Minnie ears...

We held up the Epcot Ball...

We met Handy Manny!!

We spent time in the pool, with our best friends...

and later that night, slayed elephants with them!!

We took a few too many spins in the tea cups...

and met the Little Einsteins...

We said Hello to Mickey Mouse...

and flexed our muscles with the Supers!!

We had family reunions...

and fun with cousins...

we danced with Bailey...

and played with Jordan...

and took lots of family photos!!

We made silly faces on the 1st morning of school!!

and we gave the dog a bath.

and it was a great summer...

The End

And then he was 5...

2010-10-03T07:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Greyson,

Yesterday you turned 5. FIVE years old, I can’t believe it, and yet I can… There are moments I feel like I just met you, just brought you home, and at the same time, I have a hard time remembering what I felt like before you, you seem to have always been part of my heart…

You my love are such a joy to our family, you fill my heart with love and happiness, you make everything ok. You continue to be the tender hearted boy you’ve always been, you love snuggle buggle time and being rocked to sleep. I hold you at night, all warm and sleepy and wonder how much longer I’ll be able to fit us both in the little rocking chair in your room, but I think we’ll find a way (or get a bigger chair) because mommy wouldn’t give that time up for the world… In the mornings when I wake you for school, I lay in bed next to you, you’re slow to wake up and always ask momma to rub your belly, and no matter how late we are, or how much I need to get done, I always do as you ask, snuggling you close, breathing in your “baby drool” scent and rubbing your soft little tum… It’s the best way to start my day… You still get a little nervous on the way to school, and you ask me every morning to sing to you… So we turn off the radio, and I reach my hand behind me to hold yours and I sing to you the song I’ve sung to you since before you were born, and by the time we reach school, you’re ready to go… You’re so brave everyday at school, I watch as you fight the tears that fill your eyes, you ask me a dozen times if I’ll be sure to be back to pick you up, you squeeze me tight and then off you go to meet your friends. You amaze me. When I pick you up you bound from your classroom with the hugest smile, and you wrap your arms so tight around my neck, you tell me every day that it was the Best Day Ever, and then chat my ear off on the way home. I love it.

We’ve made it to 5 little man, 5 whole years, and each and every year I say that it has been my favorite, and again it’s true, 4 was a blast, you became such a little man, mommy’s best friend and I know I’ll say the same of 5. I truly could not love you more, no way, no how, but as always with each passing second I do. Thank you for completing our family, for filling my life and my heart with all the love and happiness I can hold. You are the most precious gift…

With all my love,
Momma

Summer 2010 - Part 1

2010-09-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

This summer we got the chance to spend a little time in Louisville with family... It was Greyson's first time meeting his cousins, and boy did we have a blast!! He has asked so many times over the weeks since we've been home, when he can go back to "tucky" and play with his friends! I wish we lived closer so he could have them in his life always...

(Swimming with his cousins...)

(Spending time with Uncle Ry...)
(Family...)

(Mommy, Greyson and Grandma!)

(Grandma with all of her babies!!!)

Disney

2010-09-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

We pulled Greyson out of school and we took off for a few fun filled days at the house of the mouse!!! This is mostly a picture post! Enjoy!!

Taking a spin on the teacups!

With the little Einsteins!!

Finding Nemo...

Hug-a-bear

Handy Manny!

Mickey Mouse!!

He loved meeting them the most!!!

Rockin' our ears!

Holding up the Epcot ball!!!

Flying by the seat of our… schedule??

2010-08-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow wraps up our first week of Greyson in school! I feel like more of a “mom” than ever… I know that sounds weird, but it’s so true! I worried that the “schedule” would be hard on us, that we’d be late, always rushing, tears, fights, stained shirts… but, instead it’s been… well, Awesome!! I can get to the gym, then home make breakfast (and we’re talking, bacon, eggs, pancakes, a real hot breakfast!), shower, get Greyson in and out of the shower, snacks packed, back pack ready and out the door by 8:35 with really no real problem!! I even managed to give the dog a bath this morning?!?

So it seems that being scheduled and not just winging it like we used to works for us, and it feels so good!

Here are a few pictures from his first day at school… It was tough, I missed him immensely, but I was able to hold it together, a few misty eyed moments and tears on the way home in the car… The time has just flown by way too fast!!

(Ready to go!)

(Being SO silly in the car!!)

(At his school!!!)

(By his cubby.... you can see that he was getting nervous...)
(This picture breaks my heart... he was trying so hard to be brave...)

His teachers have nothing but GREAT things to say about him, except for one little thing... He likes to talk - a LOT!! Now, I have no idea where he gets that?!? Ha ha ha... I think my parents may have heard that very same thing a time or two??

Vroom...

2010-07-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

This week has just flown by! We spent a lot of it in the pool, now that Greyson is swimming so well I'm trying to give him as much opportunity to practice his skills as possible... We finally made it to our IMAX Sharks show... It was a long day and by the time we got to the show at 2:00, Greyson was so tired... I'd watch as his eyes would start to close and then he'd pop them open and cry out, "Oh No! I fell asleep, rewind it!!" I couldn't help but laugh and promise him we'd try to see it again soon...

We're still on the hunt for the perfect pre-school... We didn't get into the school I'd really really hoped for, he's still #6 on the wait list so I'm pretty sure there is just NO WAY it's going to happen this year.... bummer. I do have him a guaranteed spot in another, not my favorite choice, but it will do... I can't believe he'll be in school, 5 days a week, 3 hours a day... WHAAAHH!! What will I do without my little buddy?!? I still have plans of looking at more spots, but it's nice to know that he does have a spot... August 23rd will be here before I know it. Crazy!

No major plans for this weekend and that is nice... Long run on Saturday, maybe some beach time, pool time, a round of golf perhaps? It'll be Monday before we know it and another busy week awaits us!!

Happy Friday everyone! Have a safe and fun one!
xoxo,
Heather

Water Bug!!

2010-07-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry the video is not the best (I took it with my cell phone!). Greyson has become quite the little water bug lately!! He's having a blast spending every day in the pool!!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

One more...

2010-07-08T17:47:00.001-07:00

Not sure how I missed this picture earlier as it's my absolute favorite from today...

Tomorrow we're off for our first IMAX experience! We are heading to St. Augustine to the World Golf IMAX to see a Shark documentary!! We're pretty excited!!

Living the Florida Lifestyle...

2010-07-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

Basically we live in the pool... It's the best part about Greg's obsession with golf - country clubs have pools, said pools typically have no one at them - which means that Greyson and I get to have the entire thing to ourselves!! Yahoo!! Greyson loves (and I mean LOVES) to go to the pool, he's a water bug this summer for sure, splashing and swimming and floating along... We stay in the water until we are wrinkled and pruned (or as Greyson says, have old man hands...) and then we usually end up staying just 10 minutes more (for an hour!)... The other best part though, afternoon naps! The sun and the water pretty much guarantee nap time!!

It's all about the splash...

float on by sweet babe of mine....

Getting tan and having a blast... all summer long!

Let's try this again...

2010-07-07T19:02:00.000-07:00

I've been the worst blogger - EVER!!

It's been a crazy first half of the year, and yet, nothing major has happened... I guess Life happened, I realized the other day that I'm forgetting more than I'm remembering about the day to day little stuff that Greyson is doing, so I'm going to make an effort to blog more, I love being able to look through my archives and remember...

So Heather, what have you guys been up to? So glad you asked!! Let's see... We've gone to Disney... A lot!

Greyson has continued to be the funniest child ever, full of personality and spunk! He's been in Discovery Kids, t-ball, swim lessons, and gymnastics (some times I just feel like his driver!). He loves the ocean and his Nintendo DSi.

He's perfected his pout!!

We have a new puppy! Meet Hurley, our German Short haired puppy. Greyson loves him and he really is pretty cute (once he got over the crying all night thing....) He now loves to spend his time playing, having his belly rubbed, chewing on anything in sight and playing some more!

We also took a fun trip home to Michigan, where Greyson got to visit and play in (brrrr!!!) Lake Michigan for the first time!!

There is so much more that we've done, places we've gone, trips taken, sights seen, people met, but for now, I just hope to start being a better blogger, a better story keeper, memory store-er...

Be back soon!!!

xoxo

This one is for you Shannon!!

2010-06-21T16:39:00.001-07:00

After an e-mail from my cousin Shannon, reminding me that I have not updated this blog in FAR TOO LONG!! I thought I'd come by and say hello, and as an "I'm sorry, I've owed you an e-mail for like the last 3 months..." I'm putting up all the pictures I have from our cousin Sarah's graduation party this past weekend! Sorry I didn't get more pictures Shannon! I miss you and love you and promise to be a better blogger!! I have so many pictures from Greyson and I's trip to Michigan so check back soon!!

One of the best family photo's ever if I do say so myself!! ha ha ha!

More T-ball...

2010-03-10T06:12:00.000-08:00

Getting ready to bat...

Coach helping him get all set up...
SWING!!

and the ball went flying!!

and he ran... and we laughed, his little "sneaky" run was hilarious!

run little man!!

RUN!

The first base coach calling him in... run run run!!

it's going to be close....

SAFE! (because every hit is a base hit in T-ball!!) :)

More Pictures to come soon... I literally took over 200 opening day!!

All Star

2010-03-09T10:15:00.001-08:00

Opening Day for T-ball was this past Saturday the 6th... Greyson woke up super early shouting as he ran through the house, "it's T-ball game day, it's T-ball game day, we have to get up!!" He was about 3 hours early... Clad in his new baseball pants/socks/belt and undershirt we made our way to the baseball fields to pick up his hat and jersey (I even got a matching shirt, gotta show that support!!). The look is beyond cute, and while I know T-ball (and all other sports) are about more that the super cute outfit... It's hard to remember that with this one, it's so ridiculously cute I giggle every time I see him...

The day was a blast and I have tons (and I mean tons) of pictures to share, so I'll do my best to add them soon! For now, enjoy these few of him before the game started... He has his 2nd game of the season tonight!!

Our little All-Star (he's on the Minnesota Twins team!)

Mom's matching shirt... Go Twins!!
Rocking his number!! #4

Hanging out in the team in the dugout...

My little #4...

2010-02-18T17:47:00.000-08:00

So, it turns out... My kid LOVES to run...

So we run... he's up to 1.5 miles!

and we stretch...

and we give silly thumbs up signs...

but mostly we're just happy, and proud... of ourselves, and of each other...

I'm so glad you are my running partner buddy... I could never find anyone better!! I look forward to all of our runs, prepping for races, putting together the perfect play lists for our I-pods, finding the best shoes, the best trails, the best recovery drinks... I hope with all my heart that we'll continue to run, that you won't out-grow me, though I'm sure at some point you'll be much faster... I love you so much little man... You're the reason I get up and run, and now it's so much more fun with you by my side...

Mickey Mouse!

2010-02-04T08:19:00.001-08:00

We had another fabulous trip to Disney last week. I think out of all the times we've gone, last week turned out the best. The weather was beyond perfect, the kind where you start the day out with a light jacket (65ish) and the temp climbs up to just 75-77 and perfectly sunny.... Yeah, it was awesome. We stayed down there for 3 nights in a beautiful resort that we will most definitely be staying at again, the crowds were super thin, no real wait times on anything... just all in all the perfect trip!! I have loads of pictures so I'll share a few now and a few later. We did manage to come home and get sick, so while I'm fighting a cold, poor little man is fighting strep throat (yet again... sigh....). Hope everyone is doing fantastic!!

Love,
Heather

(Waiting to go in and talk with "Crush" from Finding Nemo)

(Help!! we've been eaten by a shark!!)

(The look of pure happiness.... )

by the old Ferry Boat at Magic Kingdom...

Race Weekend...

2010-01-25T07:29:00.000-08:00

This weekend I ran in my first 5K of the year... We had great weather and a ton of fun! Running has definitely become a passion for me, it's just something I have (and want) to do now rather than something I dread... I think I may be rubbing off on Greyson a bit too. After cheering for Mommy on Saturday he decided he wanted to race on Sunday. I decided to take him out and see if he could run a mile, never in a million years thinking he would finish it. Well, not only did he finish it, he ran the entire thing and came in at 17.15 which is pretty awesome for 4 year old legs!! I hope he continues to love it, because I have wonderful visions of us running races together as he gets older... Fun fun fun!! Here are a few pictures!!

My #1 Fan!!

Greyson and Daddy with the "Go Mommy Go" sign!

Us, with sun in Greyson's eyes, and me being exhausted!!

A few of my running buddies, and our "Fitness One - Fist Pump!!"

We definitely know how to celebrate a job well done!! Mimosa's!! Yum!

Good Bye 2009

2009-12-30T13:16:00.001-08:00

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A few more...

2009-12-26T09:59:00.001-08:00

Wanted to share a few more pictures from our little morning at the beach... We went north about 10 miles from "our" beach, to one of our favorite picture spots... The rocks here... well they are just so much fun for picture taking and for making little boys giggle and squeal and get oh so very excited!! Enjoy!

(Excitement x 1,000!!)

(Smile...)

(Belly Laughs... nothing better...)

(Big waves... cause belly laughs!!)

(anticipation...)

Only my Greyson...

2009-12-24T11:31:00.001-08:00

He dances with the sea...

He brings the sun...

2009-12-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

Oh how I love this boy...

...

2009-12-21T18:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby Boy...

Momma can't help but think tonight how just one short year ago, I went to bed with you safely inside me. I was worried, the weekend had been rough, I didn't feel quite right, but I had an appointment with the Dr. in the morning and I was sure that once there I would be told that everything was ok, I'd hear your heartbeat, maybe get to see you on ultrasound and then call your Daddy and let him know that everything was fine...

How wrong I was...

I miss you so much, I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, how can you miss something you never really had? Well, you can, and I do. I'm having a pretty hard time right now baby boy. No matter how hard I try to be strong, there are moments when I just can't. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm so disappointed. I feel lost without you, your big brother Greyson, he needs his little brother. Your daddy and I, we need our second son. You should be just about 7 months old now... I wonder if you would be crawling yet? What your favorite foods would be? What would make you laugh, would you be sleeping through the night or still nursing every few hours like your big brother did? How many teeth would you have, what color would your hair be? Would you have been the baby that looked like me, or would you be another carbon copy of your daddy? I should know the answers to these questions, you should be here. I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry that I couldn't give you what you needed to make it into the world, I'm sorry that I failed us. I'm sorry that I've let you down this year, lost in my own grief... missing out on so many things happening around me. I'm trying little one, I know that I have so much good in my life, so much that you would want me to do, to love, to laugh, to be happy about... it's just so hard sometimes.

I'll go to sleep tonight and think of you, think of the few short months we had, just you and me. I'll hold your urn and your ultrasound pictures, I'll think of those few kicks that I had felt and the times we saw you on ultrasound... I'll think of how perfect you were, your tiny little nose, hands and feet... I love you baby boy, you will always be in my heart.

Love,
Momma

Last year...

2009-12-09T11:08:00.000-08:00

December 9th 2008, it was the last post I made while still pregnant… I had taken Greyson over to the beach for a photo shoot, I remember actually feeling so much better as I noted in the post, 15 weeks pregnant and hopefully over all the morning sickness…

I’ve let a lot slide when it comes to my blog this past year and I regret it very much… I’ve not written about Greyson and the things he’s doing, I won’t be able to look back and remember, I’ve taken thousands less pictures, I won’t be able to look back and see… I have regrets. I feel like I’ve let him down, let myself down, and let our family down. I hope to do better next year and every year thereafter, it’s been hard for me to re-adjust the picture of our family, to come to grips with it being just the 3 of us, I had always thought 4, at least 4. I’m thankful that we are 3, so lucky, so privileged and loved and happy that we are 3 and yet, there is still that emptiness… I’m not done, but I am.

How very much can change it just one year… I’m not the girl I was a year ago. I’m a different wife, a different mother, a different person all together… Some changes are welcome, some I’m learning to live with. I can’t help but wonder what the next year will bring, will I change once again, accept the skin I’m in, or will I find myself as restless then as I am now… trying so hard to make right what feels so wrong…

The hurt...

2009-11-18T11:08:00.001-08:00

It’s been rattling around in my brain, tucked away, trying to pop up, and I keep squashing it down, forcing it away, trying to keep it at bay… It’s the little voice that tells me to look back at last year, read from last year, remember last year… I was so blissfully unaware of what was around the corner, so blissfully miserable and complaining about morning sickness, so blissfully waiting to find out that our baby boy, was indeed a baby boy so that shopping could begin, I wasn’t prepared… I wasn’t prepared and I never could have been, nor can I be prepared for now, a year later and the pain, the pain that reaches out of nowhere and tears my heart from my chest, the images that flash in my mind and make me shutter, recoil in pain, in fear, in anger. I’m still there, I’m still living in that day just over 11 months ago, to me it’s not been a year, how can that be possible, a year? But it has, a year ago I was pregnant, today I don’t have that baby. I go from wanting another baby with every ounce of my being, so badly, so much that it consumes my every thought, to wanting nothing to do with even the thoughts of pregnancy. It’s been 11 months and every single day, every single hour I miss my youngest son, he should be here, he should be with me…

Race Day!!

2009-11-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, I competed in the Florida Get Fit Women's Fitness Challenge and Obstacle Course Race... it was a blast!! Harder than I thought it would be, but so much fun. I can't wait for next year!

Mommy gets, "Good Job Mommy, you won me a medal" kisses...

Greyson really really loves Mommy's Medal... and by Mommy's I mean his...

On the eve of four…

2009-10-01T09:35:00.001-07:00

Dear Little Man,

Tomorrow you will be four. Four years old!! I feel like it was just last week that I was writing your “On the eve of three” post, for us little man it’s been quite a year. We’ve lost what feels very often to momma like more than she can handle, but we’ve also gained, gained more than momma can imagine. I look back at this last year of your life and my emotions go everywhere, part of me feels like I missed so much, trapped in my own grief, spent trying to find out how to live again, leaning on you each and every day for my strength to pull through, and yet there you were everyday with your smiles and your love. You tell me every day to not be sad, you remind me every day that you’ll always be my baby, and you remind me that we carry not only our baby, but our Mayhem too, in our hearts. I marvel at the gains in emotion that this year gave you, you’ve always been my tender hearted boy, but this year you’ve showed such compassion, a true love for everything around you. You completely broke free from your shyness; you found your own inner confidence around other kiddos, other adults. You’ve grown into such a little man, with a big heart, a mighty laugh, and full of confidence and bravado. Through all of this and more you’ve stayed so true to your inner you, the you I’ve known from the moment you were placed in my arms. You lead with your heart and I’m so proud of you for that.

Three was definitely more than just emotions though, all though in my mind I think you made your biggest changes there, you’ve grown so much in your love of sports, baseball, golf and basketball seem to be your favorites. Momma sometimes marvels at your coordination and what seems to be natural talent. I’ve had the most fun watching you learn, from mastering letters and numbers to your recent love of math. You memorize books so that you can “read” them to us at night and I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before you are actually reading. You seem to pick up so quickly on things and it’s a constant reminder that mommy needs to work with you more. This year you developed a love for all things computer related and some day’s momma has a hard time limiting your computer and game time, it’s especially tough when you ask with such manners. At the beginning of your three’s you finally mastered potty training and gave up your pacifier, two things I had to be patient with and knew you’d do in your own time. We’ve learned with you, that you have your own time line; you do everything when you’re ready and won’t be pushed.

I’m thankful each and every day for you; you’ve literally been a life saver this year, my reason for getting up each day, my reason to smile, to laugh, to live. My hope for this next year of your life, the year you are four is that mommy can be more of the mommy you deserve, that you continue to experience all the things that you love, that your heart continues to lead you, your gentle nature be nurtured, your sense of comedic timing stay as spot on as it is in this very moment and that our home be filled with all the love, all the happiness and all the laughter that we can handle. I’m so very proud of you Greyson, proud of who you are on this last day of three, proud of who you will be on your first day of four.

I love you with all my heart, all of me…
Mommy

Him...

2009-09-22T05:01:00.000-07:00

It's the way that his eyes can look so bright blue in the right light...

It's the funny faces he makes...

It's that crooked smile...

It's the raised eyebrows in attempt to avoid squinty cheesy smiley face...

It's the color of his hair that matches his Daddy's right down to the highlights...

It's the nose that truly is a combination of both of ours...

It's simply just him.

This face can make any day better, this face can make any day the best.

More Disney Fun...

2009-09-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

Greyson with Pluto...

Greyson with Daisy...
The crazy Racer...

On the carousel...

Happy to be at the Happiest Place on Earth... (or so they say...)

We made another Disney trip last week and had a fantastic time. Now that our weather is cooling down a bit, and by cooling I mean 89 degrees rather than 98 degrees everyday, we're sure to be enjoying the parks more often again. Speaking of weather and cooling, it's official that I've become a true Floridian, I froze to death the other evening when the temp dipped to a chilly 78 degrees, literally froze as in I need a sweatshirt and jeans type freezing... yeah, it's sad...

Grandma’s Wedding Suit…

2009-09-17T13:43:00.000-07:00

Almost 55 years ago my Grandma was married in this suit, and while I’m a tad taller (the sleeves are a bit short!) and the hat has been smooshed and flattened a bit, I had a ton of fun trying it all on today. I can’t thank my mom enough for making sure I had this, I can remember as a young girl going through the cedar chest and seeing it and to now not only have it, but be able to put it on, well, it’s just pretty cool. I love you Grandma…

(I think I may have this hat on all wrong??)

Hi There!

2009-09-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

(Serious kisses...)

Oh yeah... Hi.

2009-07-21T18:19:00.000-07:00

So yeah, we're here, we're alive and we're doing well... Just busy this summer! I'll try to make a "real" post soon...

Until then, here is a cute picture of the little man and me... He's so fabulous!

...

2009-06-27T12:16:00.001-07:00

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Good bye old friend...

2009-06-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

Mayhem

April 10, 2000 - June 27, 2009

Loved so much, gone to soon, missed already.

We had to say goodbye to our Mayhem this morning, 9 years was not nearly enough time with him. We've lost too much in the last few months, I'm not sure how much more we can take.

Conversations…

2009-06-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes he’s the only one who really listens…

Mayhem had to go in to the Animal Hospital today, we’re still not exactly sure what is wrong with him, but they are running lots of tests. So far we know that he’s pretty dehydrated and they have started some IV’s on him, his blood work came back ok, (his potassium is low) and they’ve done X-rays that came back normal as well. So we’re hoping that with some fluids he’ll be back to his old (he’s 9 now) happy, hungry, crazy self.

Peek-a-Boo! The Piggy Edition.

2009-06-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

PEEK!-

a-BOO!!

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!

Treats

2009-06-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

We made Rice Krispie Treats (with sprinkles!). They were Yum-MY!!

Greyson looked so cute in the apron.
He had fun patting them into the pan, hands covered in greasy butter.
He kept sneaking marshmallows before we got started, the treats ended up a little on the krispie side with not enough marshmallow.
He loved stirring with the big wooden spoon.
He ate way more than he should have.
I need to remember to let him help cook more often.

(This face just kills me!!)

Root. Root, Root for the home team...

2009-06-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

(Jackie Robinson Ball Park - Daytona Beach, FL)

Last year we took Greyson to his first Baseball Game. The Daytona Cubs (the class A, minor league farm team for the Chicago Cubs) and the Jackie Robinson Ball Park make for a super fun family night. Friday night we went to our first game of this year, last year we were with Greg’s office in a pavilion out from first base, but this year we sat in the stands with the crazy fans just up from home plate in hopes of catching a foul ball, and while a few came close (one nearly taking the head off the old guy behind us) we came home empty handed. Greyson still had a fantastic time though, he seems to love the atmosphere at the park, watching the players, the fans, Cubby the mascot. He loves the way they holler out “Popcorn, Peanuts, Cold Beer!!” he loves to watch Cubby act silly and the score board numbers change, he loves it when a batter makes a hit and runs, and he loves to watch them slide!!

The only thing he didn’t seem to love was mommy’s camera as shown in the following pictures!!

(The face of a photographer's child...)

Greyson in a hat = LOVE!!

2009-06-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm adorable.

Yup, truly adorable...

So, we have a new hat, and well, we really like it!

Amelia Island...

2009-06-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

I really can't say enough about the Amelia Island Plantation Resort. What a great little trip, the resort itself was completely beautiful, the villa we stayed in was gorgeous and had every amenity of home that you could think of, the grounds were impeccable, the pools, the beach, the shops, spa, restaurants, all of it - Fantastic! Our little water bug (Greyson) wanted to do nothing but swim, swim, swim so I came home with the mom tan, shoulders and face only!! The only time I didn't spend in water was during the kiddie activities they did each day at the pool, which Greyson had a ton of fun participating in. He's come out of his shell so much lately, I'm quite sure he introduced him self to every single person at the beach club, watching him make little friends and play is so much fun, I couldn't be more proud of him. I failed to take many pictures this trip, so unfortunately I only have a few to share...

Waiting his turn for "Toddler Go Fish"

Holding on to the crab he caught during Toddler Go Fish

My little cabana boy...

at the tram stop...

And last but not least, here is a video of him dancing like a mad man in the bathroom of an Applebee's where we stopped to eat on our way home. He's such a trip!!! Enjoy!

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Bead Head

2009-06-02T06:22:00.000-07:00

Just had to post this picture before we left today!!

He gets his morning hair straight from his Daddy!!

Summertime Fun!

2009-05-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

The 1st day of summer is still 21 days away, but around here it feels like we’re in full swing summertime fun mode! I have a feeling that if I blink even once summer is going to be gone, we seemingly have something planned for every weekday, weekend, last week, next week and Thursday from now until… well – Fall?? So… if you don’t hear from me for a few days (er… weeks) you’ve been warned, that being said, I’m going to try my best to keep the blog updated with a fun record of everything we're doing. It’s amazing to me now that Greyson is getting older all the activities that open up for us to participate and be involved in!! So much FUN!

First up: Amelia Island Resort Plantation. We’ll be spending the better part of next week there (we leave Tuesday). I’ve heard nothing but great things about it, clean beaches, family friendly, lots and lots to do, so we’re pretty excited. Although, to be honest the only thing I’m planning on doing is lounging (errr… playing with Greyson) by the pool or on the beach the entire time… Hopefully we’ll have better weather than our Disney week.

And, because no post is a complete post without photos of the little man, I’ll offer up this one. We’ve had a real blast with Greyson’s first Garden this year. The watermelons are pretty much taking over, choking out the cucumbers and some other flowers. The corn weevils killed our sweet corn seemingly overnight, but his green beans have done super well and he has some awesome sunflowers!! Here he is with his first batch of green beans!! They were delicious!

Rain, Disney and more RAIN!!

2009-05-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

If I had to sum up our Disney trip in one word, it would be super easy – WET!!

After months and months of no rain, desert like, super dry conditions, Mother Nature decided it was time to give Florida a drink and by drink I mean 3 feet of water in 5 days, and I’m so not kidding. Of course that was the week we pick to go to Disney, so with our poncho’s in tow we made the most of it. To be honest it wasn’t that bad, the center of the state got much less rain than our coastal neighborhood did, so we had times each day where the sun was out and we stayed mostly dry. Our first day at Animal Kingdom we learned rather quickly that you don’t leave the poncho’s parked in the stroller while you go in to watch a show; we came out to a down pour and had to sprint to our stroller that was SOAKED!! That was the only time though that we got really wet, the rest of trip we kept our poncho’s with us – lesson learned! Despite the rain and the poncho’s (so not flattering!!) we had a pretty good time, it was nice to get away and relax and spend full days as a family.

This week Greyson started and Aqua Tots class (swimming lessons) and a 6 week Sports Camp. Yesterday was his first Sports Camp day and the focus was T-ball and Greyson loved it! He’s been hitting a ball at home for awhile now both from a stand and pitched. He was showing off his skills yesterday for sure! Also in the land of Greyson, he’s eating us out of house and home! I’ve never seen a 3 year old that can pack it away like this kid, yesterday he ate a full 6 inch sub from subway that was loaded with veggies (lettuce, spinach, green peppers, pickles, olives all on top of the turkey, ham, bacon and cheese!!) and 2 chocolate chip cookies!! That was after a big breakfast of eggs, Canadian bacon and an apple!! I swear he’s either eating, sleeping or running!!

Here are a couple of Disney pictures, we didn’t take too many because of the rain…

Greyson and Daddy on the Safari at Animal Kingdom, Greyson was checking out the animal instead of the camera!!

Greyson and Mommy on the carousal... Greyson's favorite!
Greyson being cheesy!!

Greyson suited up in his rain gear. How he looked most of the trip!

Time

2009-05-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

Time heals… Just give yourself some time… In time you’ll feel better…

Time right this moment is not helping, it’s hurting. I can’t help but think, would he be here, would he have come early, would we be scheduled for a c-section this Wednesday like originally planned, would I have opted to wait and attempt a vbac, would I already be home, holding him, nursing him?? I often find my arms feeling so empty, my body so empty – where is my baby they scream, why are we not full!?!? I don’t know how to stop this pain, I don’t believe in time, time doesn’t help, time just takes me farther and farther away from him.

Dear Sweet Baby Boy,
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I miss you. I hate that you were taken from me so early, too early for you to make it on your own, you needed more time, we needed more time, so much more. I can’t help but dream of what could have been, what it would have been like to have you home, to hold you and bathe you and nurse you just like we did with your big brother. I can’t help but dream of what it would have been like to see him hold you and love you and press kisses to your forehead. I wish that I had the answers baby, I wish that I could change the past, that I could make it different, that you could be here. I need you so much, I want you so much. Carrying you in my heart is not enough, I want you in my arms, I want you here. I’m so sorry sweet boy, so so sorry.

Love,
Momma

These boots were made for…. Attitude?

2009-05-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

Greyson has been eyeing these boots at Target for months now. I finally broke down and bought them (they were finally on sale!!) and man, does the child love them. They definitely give him some attitude though! These pictures just crack me up! Enjoy!

(Seriously, one of my new favorite pictures ever!!)

We're off to Disney for a few days - be back this weekend with Disney pictures I'm sure!!

{ Love }

2009-05-17T09:10:00.001-07:00

Becoming a mother, becoming his mother, was and is the easiest thing I've ever done. There is no reason for my love, it's just there and every day I wake up and there is more of it. I think to myself there is no way I could ever love him more than I do at this very moment, and then I look at him and instantly I do. We spend our days laughing and giggling, sharing secrets and adventures. Together we face the world, the day, the endless errands and jobs to be done. Together we walk hand in hand across streets and parking lots, parks and fields, together we play, we work, we rest. He's my best friend, my sidekick, he's definitely mommy's boy.

I love you Greyson...

He knows what he’s talking about…

2009-05-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

The following conversation happened at breakfast the other day.

M.I.L (mother-in-law): Jordan received a couple of scholarships and won the Thespian award! I’m not really sure what the Thespian award means but…

Greyson: It’s what you clean the dust up with!

Everyone: Huh??

Greyson: You clean the dust up with the dustpan, the Dustpan award!!!

Thespian – Dustpan – eh… close enough!!