These are the moments....

There are moments as a mom where you feel your heart ache – literally ache with love, with pride, with some un-named emotion that feels so good your eyes well with tears and your face begins to ache from the smile that stretches from ear to ear. Last night as I slipped into Greyson’s room one last time before I went to sleep I experienced one of those moments. As I came up to his crib he rustled a bit and I thought he was going to wake up, so I did as all mothers do, and instantly hit the ground, hands and knees, out of sight and listened (with that animal-ish head tilt all mothers do when the are “really” listening) and waited for him to settle back in. As I waited my nose just inches from the side of his crib where the bumper meets the mattress, every so slowly a tiny little hand poked out between the bars. It stretched and reached and then very softly faded to a relaxed and limp state. I think I could have laid on the floor and stared at his little hand all night, seeing it exposed in such away, separate almost from the rest of him, seeing just how tiny it really still is, each little finger loosely relaxed and so sweet. When I knew he was back in dream land I couldn’t help but press a soft kiss to the back of his sweet little hand. I suppressed the urge to scoop him up, to hold him tight for just a few minutes and rock in our chair. I fought off the urge to take him back into our room and snuggle the night away. I let go of the thoughts of camping out on his floor just to listen to the rhythmic sounds of his breathing all night long. Just one simple kiss to his hand, a single tear of complete and utter happiness and a door pulled almost shut as I left.

These are the moments mother’s live for, these are the moments that teach you what is right, what is good, what makes you happy, what makes you – you.