As I cuddle Greyson in the recliner, all laid back, his head on my chest, his belly on mine, I can’t help but think, “How many more weeks will we be able to do this?” He asks for me to pick him up in the store, or in line at Moe’s, “Mommy hold me, please?” and for now I scoop him up, wondering “how many more weeks will I be able to do this?” What happens when my belly gets too big for him to lay on me, to fit on my lap and cuddle? What happens when my belly gets too big to carry him? What happens when my arms are full of baby carriers and diaper bags? My heart breaks in knowing that those days are coming. How do you tell your first, the one you’ve cuddled every single time a cuddle has been needed or wanted, you’ve held at every request, that no, this time you have to walk, or this time you just have to settle with this little hug/pat/one armed snuggle? How can I do that? How DO I do that?
I know logically that it can be done and it is done, millions of times over all over the world, and I’m so excited for Greyson to have a sibling, and so excited for another child to love, and yet, at the same time, I feel fiercely jealous for my son, for the attention that I know will and has to shift, for the changes to his world, his life, his days. I feel torn in half and the new baby has yet to arrive. I’m sure every mother out there has felt this exact same way, and I know that it will all work out and that we’ll develop and grow into a family of four and we’ll wonder what we ever did with out baby #2, but for now, in my head I just have such a hard time putting it all together.
So for now, I hold on extra tight, I read the 2nd and 3rd and 15th extra story, I rock a little longer, make more time to just cuddle and hope that when our worlds are turned upside down in just a few short months, that we’ll be able to figure it out.
Oh Heather I know that all to well. Sometimes it still feels like Cheyenne is on a waiting list. Carson still takes up a huge part of my days. But even though we have that new little bundle of joy to love, the oldest child will always hold that special place that no-one could ever replace. Now instead of that one hug, one kiss, & ect.... It’s now two hugs, two kisses, & ect... You can always keep Greyson involved as much as possible. Cheyenne was the first to feel Carson move in my belly. We toke her to a Big Brother/Sister class at the hospital & she got a certificate saying that she is ready to be a Big Sister. We also gave her presents at the baby shower, but I got to say I think that what made her feel real special again was giving her a present every week for the first month. I would pick up different thing before I have Carson & I had them all wrapped up so all I would have to do was grab it from under my bed & give it to her. Ryan also did extra thing with her. He would take her out & have a daddy/daughter day. I know there is a lot of things you are going to worry about now but when you see that little bundle of joy you will not remember the days of just the 3 of you it will be the 4 of us. Greyson will be a super big brother and everything will work out I promise. But for now don't worry about that, just cherish as much as you can now with your little man. I think about you a lot. Take care. Love you.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same exact way when I found out I was expecting #2. It will all work out. It always does. Just be sure and prepare your little one and get him involved even before his sibling arrives. I'm sure they will be best buds just like my 2 crazy children are. ;)
ReplyDeleteMyra,
ReplyDeleteThank you! Your words touched my heart and made me cry (I'll blame that on pregnancy hormones!!). I think we are going to do the Big Brother/Sister class with Greyson too! Our hospital offers it and I think he'd like it. I also like the presents from the new baby idea!!
Thanks for everything - Love you! Your the best sister-in-law ever, and not just because you're my only one! :)
Give love to the kiddo's from Auntie Heather, oh yeah, and Ryan too!
Hey Candice,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support! Your kiddo's are so darn cute and happy and even if they do put holes in the wall, they seem to have fun doing it together!!