Being forced to say goodbye before you get to even say hello is pretty much the worst thing ever. Early yesterday morning our new baby was born into the world at only 16 and a half weeks. The medical society calls it a “late” miscarriage, but to me it feels as a life lost, a death. While most of me wants to forget everything that’s happened, I also know that someday when it’s not so fresh, and when I can finally take a full breath without feeling as if my chest is going to cave in, I’m going to want to look back and remember.
Yesterday I had another boy, we named him Gavin. I don’t know his exact weight or length, but I know that he looked perfect to me, 10 fingers, 10 toes. I don’t know if his heart was beating or if he tried to take a breath. I don’t know anything other than we tried so hard for him and we wanted him so much. I’ll love him forever.
Oh my God Heather. I'm so very sorry. I shed a tear as I read this and I absolutely have no idea what to say. Just know that you and your family are in my thoughts.
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