Not only is today exactly 2 weeks from the day I lost my baby, 2 weeks from the day I had to have a D&C, two weeks from the worst day of my life, it also is the day that I sat in a waiting room with 2 pregnant women, one who’s due date is June 4th (one day before mine was) and a couple with a 5 day old baby boy named Gavin.
Yeah, the universe hates me.
I had to go to the lab today for blood work, the first 5 vials drawn were to test for any auto-immune, infections, etc… that can cause 2nd trimester miscarriages. The 6th vial was to check my HCG (the pregnancy hormone) level, I guess to make sure it’s decreasing at the proper rate?? Anyway, so not only am I sitting in a waiting room with blatant reminders of what my life should look like and what felt like swift kicks in the gut reminders of what I’ve lost, but then to top it all off, the front desk lady comes over and asks me “Are you expecting?” Now, I had looked at my lab paperwork prior to handing it to her and written clearly across the bottom it stated: Late Miscarriage at 16 weeks 4 days on 12/22/08. Apparently she was confused why the Dr. would run the first 5 tests and the HCG test at the same time, and because she failed to READ I got the overly fun job of telling her TWICE how I lost my baby 2 weeks ago.
This is why, I want to stay at home and talk to no one for the next year or so, it’s just too painful.
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