What I’ve learned, but is impossible to teach….

Countless times you are told that motherhood will change you forever. You’re told how the love you feel for your child is unimaginable, unfathomable, complete with out pause, and more intense than any before it. You think you understand, and then you hold your child for the first time, and you finally get it. Only you don’t get it, because with every passing day it’s more, so in reality you will never get it. You will never understand the completeness of how motherhood has changed you, you will never know the completeness of how much you love your child, you will never know where it all ends, because it doesn’t….. It seems as if seconds ago I was holding my brand new shiny, sweet smelling baby and I thought it couldn’t get any better. I know that today, almost 16 months later I love him more than I did at that moment, and I know that tomorrow I will love him more than today.

The ways that motherhood has changed me in these 16 short months are countless to list. I think of the little things, like how with one short cry I will willingly drop my finest crystal dish to dash across the room. I know that I can never watch the news or read the paper with out thinking, what if that was my child? I know that I can wake from a dream about my baby and have to get out of bed to check on him. I know that I can lay awake at night listening for the slightest sound of his needing me. I know that my daily decisions are no longer routine, and often rest in the control of a temperamental 1 year old trying to find his own independence. I know that I have no greater joy than in watching him giggle. I know that because of him, I have fallen in love with my husband all over again, for reasons that I never could have imagined. I know that I’m content, and that there is no where else I’d rather be…..

Motherhood will change you forever, each and every day…