Dear Little Man,
Tomorrow you will be four. Four years old!! I feel like it was just last week that I was writing your “On the eve of three” post, for us little man it’s been quite a year. We’ve lost what feels very often to momma like more than she can handle, but we’ve also gained, gained more than momma can imagine. I look back at this last year of your life and my emotions go everywhere, part of me feels like I missed so much, trapped in my own grief, spent trying to find out how to live again, leaning on you each and every day for my strength to pull through, and yet there you were everyday with your smiles and your love. You tell me every day to not be sad, you remind me every day that you’ll always be my baby, and you remind me that we carry not only our baby, but our Mayhem too, in our hearts. I marvel at the gains in emotion that this year gave you, you’ve always been my tender hearted boy, but this year you’ve showed such compassion, a true love for everything around you. You completely broke free from your shyness; you found your own inner confidence around other kiddos, other adults. You’ve grown into such a little man, with a big heart, a mighty laugh, and full of confidence and bravado. Through all of this and more you’ve stayed so true to your inner you, the you I’ve known from the moment you were placed in my arms. You lead with your heart and I’m so proud of you for that.
Three was definitely more than just emotions though, all though in my mind I think you made your biggest changes there, you’ve grown so much in your love of sports, baseball, golf and basketball seem to be your favorites. Momma sometimes marvels at your coordination and what seems to be natural talent. I’ve had the most fun watching you learn, from mastering letters and numbers to your recent love of math. You memorize books so that you can “read” them to us at night and I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before you are actually reading. You seem to pick up so quickly on things and it’s a constant reminder that mommy needs to work with you more. This year you developed a love for all things computer related and some day’s momma has a hard time limiting your computer and game time, it’s especially tough when you ask with such manners. At the beginning of your three’s you finally mastered potty training and gave up your pacifier, two things I had to be patient with and knew you’d do in your own time. We’ve learned with you, that you have your own time line; you do everything when you’re ready and won’t be pushed.
I’m thankful each and every day for you; you’ve literally been a life saver this year, my reason for getting up each day, my reason to smile, to laugh, to live. My hope for this next year of your life, the year you are four is that mommy can be more of the mommy you deserve, that you continue to experience all the things that you love, that your heart continues to lead you, your gentle nature be nurtured, your sense of comedic timing stay as spot on as it is in this very moment and that our home be filled with all the love, all the happiness and all the laughter that we can handle. I’m so very proud of you Greyson, proud of who you are on this last day of three, proud of who you will be on your first day of four.
I love you with all my heart, all of me…
Mommy
