The hurt...

It’s been rattling around in my brain, tucked away, trying to pop up, and I keep squashing it down, forcing it away, trying to keep it at bay… It’s the little voice that tells me to look back at last year, read from last year, remember last year… I was so blissfully unaware of what was around the corner, so blissfully miserable and complaining about morning sickness, so blissfully waiting to find out that our baby boy, was indeed a baby boy so that shopping could begin, I wasn’t prepared… I wasn’t prepared and I never could have been, nor can I be prepared for now, a year later and the pain, the pain that reaches out of nowhere and tears my heart from my chest, the images that flash in my mind and make me shutter, recoil in pain, in fear, in anger. I’m still there, I’m still living in that day just over 11 months ago, to me it’s not been a year, how can that be possible, a year? But it has, a year ago I was pregnant, today I don’t have that baby. I go from wanting another baby with every ounce of my being, so badly, so much that it consumes my every thought, to wanting nothing to do with even the thoughts of pregnancy. It’s been 11 months and every single day, every single hour I miss my youngest son, he should be here, he should be with me…

Race Day!!

This past weekend, I competed in the Florida Get Fit Women's Fitness Challenge and Obstacle Course Race... it was a blast!! Harder than I thought it would be, but so much fun. I can't wait for next year!

Mommy gets, "Good Job Mommy, you won me a medal" kisses...

Greyson really really loves Mommy's Medal... and by Mommy's I mean his...