Oh you know... Just 4 years later...

 Hiya Kiddo...

It's just after midnight on August 24th, 2020.  In 6 short hours, I will wake you up and we'll get ready for your very first day of High School.  High School!!  

I couldn't sleep, and even though I haven't looked at this blog in forever, I found myself here.  I guess that's how it is with big moments, new beginnings, you're drawn to take a peak back into the archives. It's crazy how fast time has gone by, if I close my eyes I can still feel the weight of you in my arms, smell the top of your head, feel you settle into me as you fall asleep.  How are we already at your last chapter of childhood?  

Bittersweet.  A word I never fully grasped until I became a momma.  I'm so very proud of you my sweet boy, you are and have always been such an exceptional kiddo.  I'm so excited for your future, to watch you chase your dreams, follow your heart and achieve all that you set out to do, and yet... I'm sad. Sad that it's all gone by so fast, that before I know it, you won't just be across the house, that I won't be able to stick my head through your door, listen to you breathe... 

You were anxious a bit tonight when I said goodnight, this year has been a wild one, with Covid and your heart surgery and being out of school for so long.  We didn't get to tour the school, a new one to you, so much bigger than anywhere you've been before.  We're unsure of where to drop you off and what doors you'll go in through, what building your classes are in and how you'll make it across campus between bells.  I know you'll figure it all out tomorrow and this week.  This year more than ever, momma is being forced to let go, to not have it all planned out for you, to step back so you can find your own way.  Ugh... it's hard to let go.

You are a Freshman.  A High School student.  You have started the last phase of your childhood.  Enjoy it my sweet boy, have more fun than you can ever imagine.  I have no doubts we'll sail through these years, much too fast, with lots of laughs, tons of pride, probably a few disagreements, but most of all more love than ever.  I promise to make the most out of these next 4 years, to try my best to not hold on too tight, to keep my embarrassing mom stuff to a minimum, and to be here for you, no matter what.

Proud of you doesn't even begin to cover it kiddo.  You are my truest joy, I love you.

You've totally got this.

Love,

Momma